Gaslighting can be confusing and tricky. It can make someone doubt their thoughts, feelings, and even what they know is true.
In this post, we will explore the signs of gaslighting, look at some examples, and learn how to stand up for yourself if it ever happens to you.
Let’s dive in and discover how to recognize and respond to gaslighting so you can feel confident and strong!
Keep reading to protect your mental health!
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What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a kind of mental abuse. It makes you doubt your mind, memories, or view of reality. This tactic was named after the 1938 play and the 1944 movie “Gaslight.” In these stories, a husband tricks his wife into thinking she is losing her sanity.
People use gaslighting to gain control over others. They do this by making you unsure about yourself and dependent on them.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can often lead to gaslighting behavior.
Shockingly, 74% of female victims of domestic violence say they have faced gaslighting.
9 Common Signs of Gaslighting
Gaslighting can make you doubt yourself. It often involves manipulating your thoughts and feelings.
1. Refusing to acknowledge your feelings or experiences
Refusing to acknowledge your feelings hurts you. Someone may say, “You’re too sensitive.” This makes you doubt yourself. You might start thinking your emotions do not count.
Dismissing your experiences can happen, too. Maybe they claim, “That’s nonsense you read on the internet.” They make you feel silly for trusting yourself. This tactic keeps control over how you see things and damages your self-worth.
2. Dismissing your concerns as “overreacting” or “too sensitive”
A common gaslighting tactic is saying you are “overreacting” or “too sensitive.” This makes you doubt your feelings. The person might say, “Why are you so upset?” They want to make your concerns seem small.
Doctors may tell patients their symptoms are “all in their head.” This medical gaslighting can lead to missed diagnoses and untreated problems. It’s not just annoying; it can be harmful.
Stay firm about what you’re feeling and seek second opinions if needed.
3. Making you feel responsible for their abusive behavior
Abusers often blame you for their actions. They may say, “You make me act this way.” This shifts the responsibility from them to you. It can make you feel guilty and confused.
By doing this, abusers deny their responsibility. They might pretend to forget what they did or say it’s your fault they acted badly. This is a form of emotional abuse and makes it hard for you to see who is really at fault.
4. Accusing you of “causing” problems or “making them do it”
Gaslighters often blame you for their actions. They might say, “You made me angry,” or “It’s your fault I’m upset.” This shifts the blame to you. They avoid taking responsibility for their behavior.
Projection is a common tactic here. The abuser blames you for issues they have caused themselves. Scapegoating also happens when they tag you as the problem-maker to deflect from their mistakes.
This makes you doubt yourself and feel guilty, even if it’s not your fault.
5. Cutting you off from friends and family
Gaslighters often isolate you from friends and family. They might say your loved ones don’t understand or care about you. This tactic creates division and makes it easier for the abuser to control you.
You may find yourself avoiding social events or not talking to people who could help.
They want to be the only voice in your life. This isolation causes loneliness and confusion. It also stops others from seeing what’s happening with you, making it harder for anyone to offer support or intervention.
Staying connected with friends and family is crucial in this situation.
6. Controlling your access to information and social interactions
An abuser might limit the information you get. They could say, “Now you are just confusing me,” to shut down your questions. This makes it hard for you to know what is true or false.
They can also cut off your social interactions. They might stop you from seeing friends and family. You start feeling isolated and alone, which gives them more control over you.
These actions make it easier for them to abuse you without others knowing or interfering.
7. Making your concerns seem insignificant
Gaslighters often trivialize your feelings. They might say, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” This makes you feel unimportant and silly for expressing concerns.
The goal is to make you doubt yourself.
In medical settings, doctors may dismiss your pain or symptoms. They might say, “It’s all in your head,” or “Stop overreacting.” This belittles your experience and undermines trust in professionals.
8. Creating doubt and uncertainty about your reality
Someone might question your memory. They could say, “Are you sure about that? You have a bad memory.” This makes you doubt yourself. They may also tell lies to make you confused.
They might slowly change how you see the world. Over time, this can make it hard for you to trust your thoughts and feelings. Your sense of reality becomes shaky and unclear.
9. Dismissing your feelings and experiences as “wrong” or “unreasonable”
Gaslighters often say your feelings are “wrong” or “unreasonable.” They may refuse to acknowledge events or dismiss legitimate feelings. For example, they might tell you, “That never happened,” after hurtful actions.
Another tactic is labeling your concerns as “too sensitive.” This makes you doubt yourself and feel invalidated. The goal is to control how you see reality and create self-doubt.
Mental health needs to trust your own experiences and seek support if required.
9 Examples of Gaslighting
Gaslighting can happen at home, work, or even in social circles. Read on to learn more.
1. Limiting your independence or decision-making
Someone may limit your independence by taking control of your choices. In personal relationships, they might manage all the money or handle resources, keeping you dependent and powerless.
At work, a boss could make decisions for you without asking. They might not let you share ideas or take on tasks alone. This can hurt your confidence and make you feel unimportant.
2. Restricting your access to money or resources
Gaslighting can involve limiting access to money. A partner might control your bank account or give you a strict budget, making you feel trapped and dependent on them. You might not have enough money for essentials like food or medicine.
In the workplace, gaslighting may mean restricting resources needed for your job. Your boss could withhold essential tools or information, leading to poor performance and increased stress.
You may feel like you’re failing, but it’s their way of controlling you.
3. Making you feel guilty, ashamed, or worthless
Someone gaslighting you might make you feel guilty, ashamed, or worthless. They do this by blaming you for their actions or problems. They might say, “It’s your fault I got angry,” to shift the blame onto you.
This makes you question yourself and lowers your self-esteem.
You may start to think you’re always wrong and need to apologize often. You doubt your worth and feel bad about yourself. This can lead to depression, anxiety, and a lowered state of mind.
Seeking help from friends or mental health professionals is important in these situations.
4. Constantly monitoring your work and criticizing your performance
An abusive person may always watch your work. They might find every slight mistake you make. Constant criticism can make you feel worthless. This is a form of professional gaslighting.
Such behavior creates stress and lowers your self-esteem. It can lead to a hostile work environment full of insults or threats. You might start doubting your abilities and lose confidence in yourself.
5. Creating a hostile work environment through insults or threats
Insults and threats can make your workplace toxic. They hurt your mental health and lower your self-esteem. A boss might dismiss your ideas or qualifications. They may call you “too sensitive” when you raise concerns.
Threats could be direct or subtle. For example, your boss might say you’ll lose your job if you don’t comply, which creates fear and keeps you from speaking out. Dismissive behavior also makes you feel unimportant, harming your work performance and well-being.
6. Taking credit for your work or achievements
Someone who gaslights you might take credit for your work. They may present your ideas as their own in front of others. You might feel confused and hurt when this happens. This act is known as professional gaslighting.
Invalidating your achievements can make you doubt yourself. If you correct them, they may disrespect or dismiss you. This form of abuse lowers self-esteem and creates a hostile work environment.
Stand up for yourself and document your contributions to counteract this behavior.
7. Turning family members against each other
A gaslighter can turn family members against each other. They may spread lies or twist stories to cause fights between siblings, creating a divide and making each person doubt the other.
In some cases, they may manipulate children. The goal is to make kids view one parent in a bad light. This tactic undermines trust and weakens family bonds. Always stay aware of these actions and their impact on your relationships.
8. Pitting siblings against each other creates division
Parents who gaslight may pit siblings against each other. They might label one child as “too sensitive.” This can make the sibling feel wrong or alone. By doing this, the parent controls family dynamics.
Gaslighters often create division to keep control. Siblings start to mistrust each other. It’s harder for them to unite and see the abuse. This tactic helps the abuser maintain power.
9. Manipulating grandchildren to undermine their relationship with parents
Some people manipulate grandchildren to weaken their bond with their parents. They might tell children negative things about their parents. This can confuse the kids and make them doubt their family.
These actions can use negative stereotypes to paint a bad picture of parents. For example, they might say a parent is “too strict” or “doesn’t care.” Such tactics make children feel unsure and hurt their relationship with their mom or dad.
8 Tips on How to Respond to Gaslighting
Pay attention to your feelings and instincts. Trust your gut when something doesn’t feel right.
1. Pay attention to your feelings and instincts
Listen to your feelings. They can signal something is wrong. Trust your gut when you feel uneasy or unsure. Your instincts often alert you to danger before your mind understands it.
If someone dismisses your concerns, take note. This could be a red flag of gaslighting in abusive relationships or intimate relationships. Recognize and trust these feelings to protect yourself from harm and manipulation.
2. Trust your gut when something doesn’t feel right
If something feels off, trust your gut. It helps you spot gaslighting. Focus on actions, not words. Your instincts are there to protect you. If someone dismisses your feelings or makes you doubt yourself, pay attention.
It’s not your fault if you’re being gaslit. Recognize these red flags early. Keep a journal of incidents and save any evidence, like texts or emails. Talk to friends or a therapist for support and guidance from groups for survivors like the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
3. Keep a journal or record of incidents
Keep a secret diary or journal to record gaslighting incidents. Write down dates, times, and details of what happened. This helps you track patterns and validate your experiences.
Document conversations and incidents with as much detail as possible. Save any evidence like text messages or emails. This can be useful if you need to show proof later on. Writing things down also helps clear your mind and reduce feelings of self-blame.
4. Save any evidence, such as text messages or emails
Save text messages or emails that show gaslighting. You might need them later as proof. Take pictures of abusive chats and keep voice memos if possible. These can help you explain your experience to others.
Keeping evidence is essential in cases of domestic abuse or workplace issues. It helps when talking to friends, family, or even a therapist for emotional support. Having records makes it easier to cope with the trauma and build a strong case against the abuser.
5. Communicate your expectations and limits
Be clear about what you want and need. Tell others your boundaries. This will help them understand how to treat you. Use simple language to explain your limits.
Stand up for yourself if someone crosses the line. Be assertive but not aggressive. Make it clear that certain behaviors are not okay with you. For example, say, “I feel hurt when my concerns are dismissed.” Always know your worth, and never let anyone undermine it.
6. Be assertive and stand up for yourself
Stand your ground. Say what you need and expect from others. Communicate clearly and firmly. Do not let someone dismiss your feelings as “wrong” or “unreasonable.” Trust in yourself and believe that your experiences matter.
Assertiveness helps protect your mental health and self-confidence and prevents others from taking control of you. Practice speaking up for yourself, even if it feels hard at first.
This will help you regain power over your life and decisions.
7. Talk to friends, family, or a therapist
Share your thoughts with trusted friends or family members. They can offer support and help you feel less alone. Talking to someone who cares about you can make a big difference.
Consider seeing a therapist for professional guidance and support. Therapy can help you understand your feelings better and develop coping strategies. You might find comfort in knowing that many people see therapists for various reasons, including mental health issues or childhood trauma.
8. Join a support group for survivors of abuse
Join a support group for survivors of abuse. These groups provide a safe space to share your story and listen to others. You will find people who understand what you are going through.
Support groups can help you feel less alone. They offer advice, comfort, and new friendships. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a great resource: 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
Don’t face this challenge alone; reach out and get your needed help.
12 Ways to Deal with Gaslighting
Pay close attention to your feelings and instincts. Seek help from friends, family, or a therapist who can support you through this difficult time.
1. Practice self-care and positive affirmations
Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise. This will help you stay strong and think clearly.
Tell yourself good things every day. For example, say, “I am worthy” or “I matter.” These positive affirmations boost your self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who support you and make you feel loved.
2. Surround yourself with supportive people
Find friends and family who respect you. They should listen to your feelings and experiences without judgment. Support groups can also help. In these groups, people share similar stories and find comfort.
A good support network lifts you. Being around supportive people helps build self-worth. This makes it harder for anyone to gaslight or control you. Always keep in touch with those who care about you sincerely.
3. Validate your own experiences and feelings
Validate your own experiences and feelings. Trust what you feel. Your emotions are real and important. Do not let others tell you otherwise. You know yourself best.
If something feels wrong, speak up about it. You deserve respect and understanding. Therapy can help if you need support to validate your feelings. A therapist listens without judging and enables you to see things.
4. Don’t let others undermine your self-worth
Others should not make you feel less. Your worth is not up for debate. You deserve respect and kindness from those around you. Stay true to yourself even if others try to bring you down.
Believe in your abilities and set clear boundaries. Step back and reassess the relationship if someone tries to control or belittle you. If needed, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.
5. A therapist can provide guidance and support
A therapist can help you with self-doubt, self-esteem, and trust issues. Therapy is helpful for depression and PTSD. A mental health professional offers a safe space to talk about your feelings.
They teach you how to cope with the effects of gaslighting. This includes using positive self-talk and setting healthy boundaries. You learn to validate your own experiences and build confidence in yourself again.
Therapy can be life-changing for anyone dealing with trauma or emotional abuse.
6. Consider seeking legal advice if necessary
You might feel lost and confused with gaslighting. Seek legal advice if you need help. A lawyer can protect your rights. They know the law well and can guide you.
A lawyer helps in many ways. They can suggest safety measures or protection orders to keep you safe from physical violence or abuse. If gaslighting happens at work, they can advise on workplace rights and possible actions against harassment or sexual harassment.
Your safety is important, so do not hesitate to seek help.
7. Learn about the signs and tactics of gaslighting
Gaslighting involves controlling behavior to make you doubt your reality. Be aware of the red flags in relationships. For example, someone may dismiss your feelings as “wrong” or “unreasonable.” They might blame you for issues they caused, making you feel guilty.
Also, watch for tactics like cutting you off from friends and family. This isolation makes it easier for them to control you. They may distort facts or deny things that happened to create confusion and self-doubt in you.
Knowing these signs can help protect yourself from gaslighting tactics.
8. Be aware of red flags in relationships
Look for red flags in relationships. Trust your instincts if something feels off. Notice if someone tries to control or blame you. This could be through controlling behaviors, like monitoring your browser history or cutting you off from friends and family.
Pay attention to how they treat your concerns and feelings. Dismissing your emotions as “wrong” or calling you “too sensitive” is a bad sign. If they often make you feel guilty, ashamed, or worthless, this is a big warning signal.
Don’t let anyone undermine your self-worth.
9. Surround yourself with supportive and respectful people
Find friends and family who lift you. They should listen to your feelings and respect your thoughts. Joining a support group can also help.
Foster open conversations with those around you. This will build trust and understanding. Having the right people in your life boosts your sense of self-worth.
10. Foster open and honest communication
Speak honestly with those around you. Share your feelings and thoughts. This helps build trust.
If something is unclear, ask questions. Listen carefully to others’ answers. Make sure both sides feel heard and respected.
Set clear lines for communication in your relationships. Say what is okay and what is not okay for you.
Encourage the people around you to be open, too. Let them know it is safe to speak their minds without judgment or fear.
11. Believe in yourself and your abilities
You have to believe in yourself. Trust that you can handle gaslighting and protect your mental health. Self-trust helps you see through a gaslighter’s lies and tricks.
Build your confidence by valuing your experiences. Don’t let anyone make you doubt what is true for you. Surround yourself with people who respect and support you. Practice self-care to boost your mood and keep strong against negative emotions like fear, shame, or guilt.
12. Set healthy boundaries and limits
Set rules for what you will accept and what you won’t. Tell others what behaviors are okay and which are not. For example, let them know it’s wrong to call you names or blame you wrongly.
Enforce your boundaries with firm actions. If someone crosses the line, walk away or end the conversation. Doing this protects your mental health and well-being. Seek help from a therapist if needed.
Supporting yourself by setting limits can stop abuse early on.
The Psychological Impact of Gaslighting
Gaslighting can profoundly affect your mind and emotions. You might feel anxious, depressed, or hopeless.
Anxiety, depression, and feelings of hopelessness
You may feel scared, sad, and hopeless due to gaslighting. It can lead to mental health disorders like depression and anxiety.
There is an increased risk of suicidal thoughts. You might also find it hard to trust others or make decisions. Gaslighting eats away at your self-worth and makes you doubt yourself.
Difficulty trusting others and forming healthy relationships
Gaslighting makes it hard to trust people. You may feel unsure of your thoughts. This can damage relationships. It’s tough to know who is safe.
Forming healthy bonds becomes a challenge after gaslighting. Trust issues linger, making emotional closeness difficult. It takes time and effort to heal and build strong connections again.
Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, and remembering things
Gaslighting can make it hard to focus. You may find it challenging to make choices or recall details. This happens because gaslighting messes with your mind. You begin to doubt yourself and your memories.
Low self-esteem and anxiety are also common effects of gaslighting. The constant stress impacts your mental health, making daily tasks difficult. Over time, this can lead to more significant problems like depression or other mental illness symptoms.
Loss of self-confidence and self-worth
Gaslighting can crush your self-confidence and self-worth. You may feel worthless or like you can’t do anything right. Abuse makes these feelings grow stronger over time.
Imagine being told daily that you’re too sensitive or consistently wrong. This blame-shifting damages your belief in yourself. Such emotional trauma can lead to anxiety, depression, and feeling hopeless.
Headaches, fatigue, and digestive problems
Gaslighting can lead to physical issues. Headaches, fatigue, and digestive problems are common symptoms. You might feel tired all the time, and your stomach may hurt or feel upset often.
This happens because gaslighting causes stress and anxiety.
Frequent headaches can make it hard to focus or think clearly. Feeling worn out drains your energy for daily tasks. Digestive issues like nausea, constipation, or diarrhea can occur too.
These signs show that gaslighting impacts both your mind and your body.
Increased risk of substance abuse and other unhealthy behaviors
Gaslighting can lead to substance abuse. You might turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with the stress and confusion. This is a way to escape your pain, at least briefly.
Unhealthy behaviors may also increase. You could start eating too much or not enough, or exercise might stop being part of your routine. These actions harm both body and mind over time.
The Bottom Line
Dealing with gaslighting is tough, but you can handle it. Look for signs like feeling confused or doubting yourself. Keep records of incidents and talk to supportive friends or a therapist.
Set clear boundaries and stand firm. Taking these steps can help you reclaim your power and peace.
